she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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