The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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