please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
