Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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