Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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