last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
