we're blogging at a bar
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
