well most of my day revolves around power hour
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
