i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
