And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
