Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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