I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
