garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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