nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I am naked and annoyed.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
