ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
