so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
please come you make the beer taste better
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
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She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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