i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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