I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
