I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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