Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
