Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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