Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
zippers are such a cool invention
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
