so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
