Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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