This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
