I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
