Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
