fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
