he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Of course I have a pirate flag
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
