listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
