someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
