So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
