Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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