I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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