No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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