Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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