which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sorry my hands just texted you
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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