I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
