I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
