i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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