The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
