Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
