My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
