She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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