my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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