This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
