Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
