how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
