i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
