i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We got so high we made milksteak
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
