help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
