TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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