this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
