Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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