Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize